Day Two

So. Huh.

I don't even know where to start other than to say that I have given up on myself. I lost my daughter after a drowning accident 6 1/2 years ago and I haven't been myself since. I can't explain it - I won't even try.

What I can explain is that I want to find my new normal - the normal that exists on this side of losing my daughter. Since her death, my husband of (nearly) 15 years and I filed bankruptcy and will very likely be filing again in a few years. I have gain about 80-85lbs. Nothing fits me and I have a hard time finding anything in stores. Actually, there are like two stores I can shop in. My life is chaos and I feel like it's time. Time to start living again and not merely breathing.

This blog will help me document this journey. I'm not aspiring to be a 'blogger' but I know I won't write in a journal and this is the next best option for me.

This is day two of this journey - yesterday was't so very good. I decided to accompany my family to Ryan's for dinner - pigged out.

Today is starting off better - but I'm getting a reality check regarding my portion sizes. Two big bowls of chili have 1500 calories according to some online calculators! Now, I don't know that my homemade chili - tomatoes, beans, ground sirloin - has that many calories but that's what I'm going with.